Saturday, December 18, 2010

28 years

Spat. Sizzle. Spat. Sizzlesizzle. Spatspatspat. 

Terry and I looked across our joined hands at quite a solemn moment - and tried to hide the giggles. The 'drip-less' candles weren't just dripping - they were regurgitating all over the spotless alter of a very formal, very poinsettia decorated, very borrowed, very Methodist church on the University of Texas campus - 28 years ago today.  I tried to rein in the wide smile at the absurdity of that ridiculous sound at this life altering moment when my eye caught the twinkle in the eyes and grin, yes it was a grin, on the lips of my seconds-away-from-becoming, very unknown, very Southern Baptist preacher father-in-law.
I think he probably knew way more about the absurdity of life and solemn moments than we did. I learned much from that twinkle and grin in the next 25 years of his life and our marriage. Terry's Dad - who became mine too.

I learned that keeping some secrets is smart and keeping some isn't wise, at all.
That commitment isn't about sometimes and whenever, but about all the time.
That believing in someone, and being the someone someone can believe in means you spend a lot of time praying.
That learning to cook is a good thing, watching your husband cook is even better.
That the world still turns if the white load is quite strangely and suddenly pink.
That taking a bike ride is better than visiting the counselor, well sometimes.
That kids are a learning experience, but the one with the most pain and  joy.
That some words shouldn't be said, ever, and some should be said every day.
That covers, closet space, burdens, almonds and the driver's seat are sweetest when shared.
That I am my best when grateful for the gifts of every day.
That the one one marries is the same and also very changed 28 years later, and how you've loved each another all those years is who you've both become.
That marriage is full of solemn and absurd moments - and both will make you smile.

I think that's probably it for this 28 years, I'm thinking there's more in the next 28 or so.
Happy anniversary, babe. You are the best.



  1. I had just joined the church and was saved that year and didn't know either of you that much, so I missed your wedding. Fortunately, I was blessed to know the two of you and spend part of every week in church and fellowship with you for the next 12 years.

    Even though you had challenges to overcome, as we all do, I don't remember ever seeing either of you without a smile (or grin) on your face. Perhaps you were seen scowling and mad, contending with one another in public, even by me, but your love for each other and for God is what overwhelmingly colors my thoughts of you.

    The two of you, along with many others (Doug and Diane, Alan and Georgia, Philip and Betty, Danny and Gail, Alan and Tracy, David and Sue, etc.) set a great example for the rest of us in the church who were single at that time. Just thought you should keep in mind that not only did you build your own marriage over the last 28 years, you helped to build other marriages as well.

    Thank you and congratulations on your anniversary.


  2. Aaaaaaahhhh. I'm so glad that we got to intersect with your lives about 18 years after that moment! Here's to the couple who knows that God is good and can move mountains! Keep trusting Him, and you'll do just fine. He loves you so much, and we love you, too!

  3. Your blog made me smile and cry a little. I will be following closely, I need all the wisdom I can get with children and marriage. You have so much of that; thank you for sharing!