Tuesday, September 25, 2012

It's a good thing....

It's a good thing we were wearing our Alex Reinis "Be Awesome" bracelets. 

Clerical errors abounded today and there was no CT as scheduled. We were all excited and hopeful to hear that the tumors in Terry's throat and lymph glands were gone as we've been praying- please God. But not this week. We're still on the roller coaster.

Terry had labs and his port irrigated and cleaned. We got loved on by the nurses and techs and one oncologist. We saw the kid who got diagnosed with cancer when he thought he was just getting his tonsils out - he was bald but had his trach removed and looked great. He told us his mid-treatment CT showed no tumor at all...we hugged and rejoiced with him in the middle of the hall. We saw one of our favorite breast cancer ladies looking really fragile. Her beautiful blue eyes lit up when we came in, we got to pat her gently and pray for her. 

Then it was sort of all downhill. The CT lab we were assigned didn't have the correct machine for the diagnostic CT ordered. They found another lab with an open appointment and we rushed across town to get there in time. Terry filled out the required pages and pages of paperwork and we waited for about an hour in a room full of crying children and miserable people. 

They called him back, I settled in for another wait .... and he reappeared. Too soon. The notes about the reaction he gets from the drugs administered for the CT and PET scans didn't get sent along with the orders. No CT without a week of prednizone and antihistamines and something else I can't remember.

We have to wait. Another. Whole. Week. Bummer.  

It's honestly not THAT big a deal. It is so great that he didn't get the drugs which would have made him really sick and put him in the hospital overnight. What does just a week of drugs that make him feel nauseous matter in the light of the long summer he has already so valiantly persevered?

But we both got teary. And the nurse got teary. One of us got mad and just went to the parking lot to get the car. (Me) One of us asked careful questions and made the game plan for the next week. (Terry) We got apologies from every direction. 

We sat in the car and cried some and laughed some. It's just so stinking disappointing. We are determined to be found faithful, even if we cry and get mad first. It's no stretch for Terry to 'be awesome.' I'm working on it.  

God is good and faithful.  

Thursday, September 13, 2012

loving Waco....

I went to Waco today. For a girl who loves big cities, I can't seem to get enough of that place and all the people so dear to me who live there.  But I like to go, period. Often and there isn't a place on the planet I can think of I wouldn't like to visit. 

It was still dark this morning when I left home and I couldn't shake an unidentifiable feeling. Vague unease. Like I was forgetting something. Maybe missing something. About Belton I realized I haven't been out of the Austin city limits since May. I haven't been physically further away from Terry than the other side of Austin in that many months. 

It was that feeling when you leave your baby with a sitter the first time. Or when your loved one gets wheeled off down a hospital corridor. Or when your kid leaves the country. A little breathless.

I made it, he made it. We talked on the phone several times. We didn't used to be that kind of couple. We like being together, but we're ok to be apart a bit too. Hhmm.

We're nearing the first test since the end of treatment - 12 days until the first CT post chemo and radiation. It will tell us just what is happening to the tumors in the lymph glands and in his throat. It takes a lot of energy not to think about this too much. 

He's doing so well - enormously better than just a month ago - the radiation burn is just a shadow, not much crud left in his throat, no nausea, just a little pain, some ability to taste, maintaining weight and some fuzzy baby-eagle looking hair. A lot of exhaustion, not much salivary gland function, an easily overwhelmed nervous system, little appetite and really tired of smoothies. But so much better.

It poured rain all the way home. There were four accidents and stop-and-go traffic for almost three hours. My 200,000 mile plus-one-check-engine-light-on-beloved-Rav4 delivered me home one more time. The three people I love most in the world were in the house. And a grumpy cat. There's no where else I'd rather be. 

But. My new passport came in the mail. Hhmm. 

God is good and faithful.