Thursday, September 13, 2012

loving Waco....

I went to Waco today. For a girl who loves big cities, I can't seem to get enough of that place and all the people so dear to me who live there.  But I like to go, period. Often and there isn't a place on the planet I can think of I wouldn't like to visit. 

It was still dark this morning when I left home and I couldn't shake an unidentifiable feeling. Vague unease. Like I was forgetting something. Maybe missing something. About Belton I realized I haven't been out of the Austin city limits since May. I haven't been physically further away from Terry than the other side of Austin in that many months. 

It was that feeling when you leave your baby with a sitter the first time. Or when your loved one gets wheeled off down a hospital corridor. Or when your kid leaves the country. A little breathless.

I made it, he made it. We talked on the phone several times. We didn't used to be that kind of couple. We like being together, but we're ok to be apart a bit too. Hhmm.

We're nearing the first test since the end of treatment - 12 days until the first CT post chemo and radiation. It will tell us just what is happening to the tumors in the lymph glands and in his throat. It takes a lot of energy not to think about this too much. 

He's doing so well - enormously better than just a month ago - the radiation burn is just a shadow, not much crud left in his throat, no nausea, just a little pain, some ability to taste, maintaining weight and some fuzzy baby-eagle looking hair. A lot of exhaustion, not much salivary gland function, an easily overwhelmed nervous system, little appetite and really tired of smoothies. But so much better.

It poured rain all the way home. There were four accidents and stop-and-go traffic for almost three hours. My 200,000 mile plus-one-check-engine-light-on-beloved-Rav4 delivered me home one more time. The three people I love most in the world were in the house. And a grumpy cat. There's no where else I'd rather be. 

But. My new passport came in the mail. Hhmm. 

God is good and faithful. 

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