Tuesday, July 31, 2012
just a crack or two...
Sometimes I read Leonard Cohen's poems from a beat up paperback I picked up from the $1 bin at Half Price Books. I won't pretend to understand them, but I like to think about them. 'Anthem' is one of my favorite meditations because it has these lines - 'there is a crack, a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.'
We're feeling pretty broken and cracked. They said these would be the hardest days, and they have been. Terry's body is taking the last beating chemo and radiation have for him. He, again, has responded with courage and faith. I am so proud of him. As much as I hate watching him suffer I am trusting that every cancer cell is being decimated. I am trusting that every minute of treatment and each day of pain will have been productive and that in a few months the PET scan report will be completely clean and he will be cancer free.
In June last year I wrote a post called 'my ideal woman' about a friend called Julie M and her husband. I had no idea. In the year since they have fought the fight valiantly, loved one another well, trusted and prayed, talked and listened, lived lives of example and sacrifice before their daughters and friends, and they've become even more broken.
In my cracked-ness a few weeks ago I texted her, "Julie, how do you do it?" and her answer was, "Trudy. I pray like crazy. All the time."
I believe her in a whole new way. I am living in the the light shining from her life.
As the hero at our house has suffered mightily this week the hero at their house has been moved to ICU. And barring a miracle their battle will be over sooner than anyone wants.
The light is in their broken pots and is illuminating a path for us. Terry and me ... and you.
Fight valiantly your fight, whatever it is. Love well. Trust with every fiber. Be cracked. Welcome light. Give it back.
Thank you a million times for your sustaining kindness and prayers for Terry and me, for Stephen and Emily.
Would you pray too, even if you don't know them, for Scott and Julie, Madison and Ashley?
God is good and faithful.